Lost control

Last night was a rough night. Most nights have been rough so far.
Gabriel is eating every 2 hours at the moment and it is truly exhausting. Well last night the exhaustion combined with the wayward hormones finally ended in a meltdown of epic proportions.I woke up at midnight to Gabe's cries of hunger and as I walked into his room and looked at him lying in his cot, I just burst in to tears. The tears just streamed down my face and no matter how hard I tried they would not stop coming. I suddenly had a feeling of dread in my stomach and started thinking we had made a huge mistake and now there was no turning back. These thoughts then left me with feelings of guilt for thinking like that. All the time the tears were streaming down and wetting my poor baby who was happily feeding at the breast.

My cries finally woke Terence who walked into the room with huge eyes as he wondered what terrible event had occurred for me to be sobbing so uncontrollably. I couldn't answer him as I myself did not know what had caused the initial breakdown.

The baby blues had hit and hopefully they don't stay for long as they are not welcome. To say that having a baby is overwhelming is an understatement. No one can prepare you for the enormity of bringing a baby home but at the same time no one can describe the love and joy that this same baby brings into your home and into your heart!!